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| Coffee Tales |
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A Grandmother was surprised by her 7-year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"
| Her grandson answered, "Grandma, it says on TV, the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup." |
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Cousin Ella is the world's worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Salesman Ridley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later Ella was back in the store and Ridley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
| "Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing I don't understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?" |
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| An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." |
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of animal to splatter every where, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and was pulling another male buffalo in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
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Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over coffee one day.
"I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said.
"Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick."
"What did you do?"
"I hid his teeth!"
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